7-17 Aug 2018 - A Magnificent Break in Life

And so it came to pass that I needed a well deserved holiday. Working hard with no time off makes for a sad and stressed Kerrance. I had also been fighting recurrent shingles for the past 6 months, with a new breakout every three weeks. My body was screaming at me to take it easy, slow down, stop getting stressed and take some much needed time out away from the stresses and strains of work and life.

Don't get me wrong, my life isn't massively stressful to those looking at it from the outside and I would agree that it isn't. The problem is is that I just don't have a stress dealing mechanism...well I do, it's called the numbness and tingling down my left side and shingles and when I reach that point, my stress and anxiety has already gone too far. What many people can take in their stride, I simply can't. What I need to work on is either not getting stressed in the first place or realising signs early enough to nip it in the bud...find some way of relieving the stress and negativity that I find resting on my shoulders every day when I get home from work (giving up my job is not an option).

Enter Jackie (and Martin) with their fabulous home in La Salvetat-Peyralès. Come rest up with us I heard Jackie cry so I did, for 10 glorious days!!!! We went running some mornings, Dylan dog walking, much ball throwing games with Dylan, sun worshiping, pool dunking and looking at "old shit" ie: lots of beautiful medieval towns and villages. I also tried my hand at horse riding and absolutely loved it. I felt so at home in the saddle and it gave me a sense of calmness, similar to when I dive. I can fully understand why Jackie has ridden for so many years and had her own beautiful horse Cocoa. (Going back to previous blog, perhaps I'm not so different to my peers after all!)

Whilst wandering around their lovely and extensive grounds I was struck by the peace and tranquility and the joy of picking fresh tomatoes every day and checking on the progress of the peppers and avocado tree. This is when the soul search really began. Jackie is a superb soundboard. She just listens and somehow has the ability to coax out the thoughts that you didn't know were suppressed. We had various conversations about why I don't have my own vegetable patch. My main answer to this is that the garden isn't set up for it but maybe I could dig up a flower bed and utilise that, but that will be shady. This would then bring up previous conversations with Simon who would argue that to make any sort of impact you need an area larger than a flower bed which would provide for us for a week or two and not really worth the bother.

Jackie and I talked about allotments and although I thought they were still available I didn't think I had the commitment in me to make a go of it. It wouldn't be right outside my back door and a whole list of other negative responses. One of my many faults is to quit whilst I'm ahead or not even tackle something that could fail. This is not a happy trait of mine and I know that the failure of my diving business is the route cause. It's also a trait that I constantly battle with. I was going home the next day so I'd sleep on it...