31st Aug - Tales of the Unexpected

I last left you worrying as to whether I would have to work solo, as my loyal worker/husband had abandoned his work post to go off and enjoy himself on holiday.

Never fear the doorbell rang on Friday at 5:30pm and in walked my delightfully lovely and eco-spirited gorgeous friend Amy. "Fear not Kerry, I am here to work my little size 5 socks off for you all weekend" is what I heard in my mind. I think the actual conversation in the week was along the lines of "well I'm not up to anything at the weekend so I can come and stay and help out if you like but only if I appear in your blog".

Once we managed to find enough shelves in the fridge for the cider and wine we began to talk tactics. Imagine my surprise when the doorbell rang at 6pm! Looking very confused, as Amy was already here and after a quick double-take to make sure I wasn't talking to imaginary friends again, I opened the door.

It was my ever-smiling, friendly neighbour informing me that he had been at his allotment with his secateurs during the day and whilst he was armed (well handed) with these sharp blades of destruction, he thought he would have a go at cutting down my hedgerow oh and had left all the clippings on the ground. "Oh, OK" I heard myself mumble and closed the door.

I was a little bit taken aback and tried to re-run the conversation we had had with him about the hedgerow the previous weekend. I was 100% convinced I hadn't said I wanted it cut down right now. In fact quite the opposite for several reasons. 1) my priority is to get rid of all the bloody docks and lay down my coveted black plastic using my giant staples 2) flatten the land 3) Pick sloes from hedgerow 4) Cut back the hedgerows to make way for shed and greenhouse 5) Reduce height of hedgerow to make it look neat and get a bit more light but there is a huge oak tree the other side of the road so not holding out on that.

There is a logical and obvious reason why it is in this order and part of this includes the hedgerow still has juicy berries to feed the birds including my tame Robin. Also it's my allotment and I say what happens, not Simon, not anyone, just me because it's my thing, my battery recharger and soul place for grounding oneself with nature, nurturing escaping the trials and tribulations of life, Oh and my name is on the tenancy agreement! There glad I got that out in the open. Hold on a second, rewind to point 3). Pick my sloes. Oh God! Did he say chop down the hedgerow or chop back?

Without further a do we marched very briskly to Tahiti. I know that this was a very neighbourly and thoughtful thing to do, done out of kindness but you don't really go trimming a lady's bush without her prior permission, do you?

It wasn't as bad and naked as I'd imagined AND my sloes were still attached although some of the red berries were gone. However, this is not the best use of my compost bin as greenery does need to be chopped up a bit smaller to be able to break down and turn into lush compost! Amy did get her wish and became my pin up girl a little sooner than scheduled.

I was slightly unhinged by the fact that my tight working schedule of getting on site first thing and filling the 2 large tonne bags I'd acquired (thank you Vikki) of weeds to take to the dump would now mean an additional site clean up, chopping up of branches and a bush tidying session (well nobody likes an unkempt bush do they) .

Amy did her best to console me with soothing words of "it's not that bad" and "how lovely to have helpful neighbours who actually talk to you not ignore you", "He's done you a favour in the long run" and by stating that she would be willing to wake up at 6.30am the next day and get started (I made that last one up). The clincher was her suggestion that a pint of cider at The Thirsty Farmer would make it all better.

So with a sad face, we walked down the hill to The Thirsty and she was right, a pint of Haze did make it all better!